Saturday, 29 December 2012

Plot Changes And Major Editing Shifts

Yesterday I started editing Chapter 6, a part in the book which follows on for four chapters.
And I decided that this part is so totally irrelevant, we might as well not have it; in fact, it would look bad if we did.
In the four chapters, we meet lots of characters, who go no where, help with nothing, don't move the story forward and aren't used again. What is the point in them?
So I cut out four chapters! These chapter took a long time and a lot of mental energy to write. These chapters were the bane of our lives when we were writing them. But it's good that they're gone. It now means that we have stuff from these chapters that we can use in other chapters to flesh them out.
Because I have cut out four chapters, I added in two.

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Inspiration on Christmas Eve.

On Monday, I went to see The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey, which was bloody brilliant!!! (We unexpectadly bumped into my good friend MF!) It really inspired me! I know where my novel is headed now. And I think I'll know where I want to stop. Before, I doubted that I knew whether the story would ever be completed and would ever end but, having seen this, I think I have discovered my limit. I don't want to go into such detail (I feel truly silly making up new me, I've tried!) but I love having detailed histories, songs and poems.
That night, I got home and had brainwave after brainwave of ideas!

For ages, I had been wondering what race The Dwellers could be. These people live in a large area by the sea. There will be different sections to their land. Port Dwellings, North, South, East and West Dwellings and Common Dwellings. At first, I didn't want these people to be human but there started to emerge the idea that they once were humans.
Anyway, my idea of brilliance was that, once Shalo (the human centre) started to earn a name of disgrace and disgust, other human societies disassociated themselves from the type of creature. So, although they are exactly the same and are actually humans, the Dwellers (and many more creatures from around the globe) will never admit it. To them, they are Dwellers and have nothing in common with human scum.
I thought this was a brilliant idea because it solved my problem of having to create a new type of creature!

I also decided that the map we have so far is no way big enough! I was thinking, for the first novel, the map wouldn't be very big, but it would grow as Malina added her knowledge of the new lands to it. There will be new lands and undiscovered lands learned about in the next book. Annoyingly, I do need to plan the second and third books meticulously for the first book to make sense in accordance with the next two!

On Christmas Day, Mum gave me a Kindle!
Okay, so I've never really agreed with the concept but I've got to accept that I will most likely be publishing my book/s on the Kindle so I've got to get to grips with how it works.
Dad gave me this bloody brilliant book outlining the basics on writing fictional novels. I had a look and it is really useful! Hopefully it will help with me with dialogue and expressing character traits.

I hope everyone had a brilliant Christmas!
M. x

Thursday, 20 December 2012

'Still' Is A Very Boring Word...

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while!
Okay...I know...I keep saying that!
Well here I am now.
I am still...yes, still...editing the printed third...I think I'm up to Chapter 6/12.
It is actually really hard to edit it! It takes ages and a lot of focus and I have been really busy lately and haven't really found the time for it...especially because I'm writing another book at the same time!
My little brother is a little annoyed that I am but I think it's nice to have a distraction from this story. The other book couldn't be more different to this one so it does refresh my brain a bit to be able to concentrate on them both.
I've editing two chapters out of forty for the other novel but they're not very good yet. I'm only really editing that one when I really feel like it, whereas I'm editing Homeland whenever I can!
Today I sat in Costa thinking up the next chapters I need to write. I'm now thinking about how to start the second part of the novel. Should I carry on to Chapter Thirteen or should I start again with Chapter 1? Opinions please!
Also, should I called them 'Chapter 1, 2, 3' etc, or should I just number them with Roman Numerals?
Hmm...these are those annoying little things I really need to think about!

Okay, so while thinking about the novel and where to go next, I've come up with new ideas here and there.

- I want a fairy called Simkin. Don't know just seems to fit.
- The bad guy is now called Nemico...instead of just 'Bad Guy'...!
- I have created three cheeky imps called Bish, Bash and Bosh

Well, please tell me your thoughts!
M. x

Saturday, 1 December 2012


I have decided that I want to be a literary editor when I'm older.
When I was really young, I wanted to be a train driver because I wanted to pull the horn that went "toot, toot!". But Mum and Dad persuaded me that, one, you don't get those sorts of trains anymore and, two, it would be really boring to drive a train all the time because you'd only ever go to one place and then come back.
Back then I didn't understand. Wasn't that the point? I also wanted to be a train driver so that I could go to loads of places and see different places without actually having to explore them and participate in the social life there. I was never much of a social kid, I'm still not very social. But I understand what they mean, now. I'd probably just end up seeing the insides of loads of different train stations which wouldn't be very interesting.
When I was around 6 or 7, I decided I wanted to be an author. I'd never finished any bit of writing but I did write. Everything I wrote were copies of the stories I liked just with little twists. For example, I started to write The Incredible Journey, just with a snake family instead of a cat, a dog and...Okay I can't even remember what animals there are in the story...isn't there a porcupine at some point?
So the dream of becoming an author stuck for many years until my Mum said, "You know being an author isn't a proper job". She explained to me that most authors don't get as much money as J.K. Rowling and weren't as famous as her.
I never told anyone, but that hurt, quite a lot. Did she really think I was that stupid? Did she really think I only wanted to be an author for the money and fame? My reasons were quite the opposite!

Monday, 26 November 2012

What A Cheat!

Have you heard of the Inheritance fantasy series?
You know...
Eragon and the other books that nobody can ever remember the titles of?

Yeah, you probably recognise it...from somewhere in the back of your mind...

Well, it doesn't really matter if you've never heard of it because, in my opinion, it doesn't even deserve to be published.

Sunday, 18 November 2012

Publishing Consultants And Robots

So the other day, I was just browsing random stuff online and I was like...
"Hey! Why don't I look into 'how to publish a book?"

So I clicked on this link that apparently gave free publishing consultants if you gave them a few details.

So stupid old me gave them my email address and phone number...I thought..."Why not? What harm will it do?"

Monday, 12 November 2012

A Third Complete

Today, Ben and I finished the end of the twelfth chapter which ended Part One of the novel (which will be Three parts long) !!!
We printed it and, in A5, it would be about the size of Harry Potter One! And that's only the first part! This is going to be a heavy book at this rate!
I actually can't believe that we have managed to get this far!!!
I printed it all out because I find it easier to edit that way.
Yep, that's right! I'm now going to go through the whole thing and edit it!
So when it's done, I will be showing it to some friends and family.
When J.K. Rowling was writing the first Harry Potter, she only ever showed it to her sister. Her Mum never even knew she was writing it and she died before J.K. had even finished it.
I don't want a friend or a member of the family to miss that opportunity. I don't want my grandparents to never know my novel writing endeavours.
So that is why I have been telling everyone.

In celebration, I have done no work on it tonight and I will now give you the third chapter! :D x

Tuesday, 6 November 2012


I'm afraid, you're not gonna get any more chapters for a while! The other day, my mum noticed something that seriously ****ed up the next 9 chapters!
We've fixed the problem but it means I've gotta do a mega-edit! I'll write the next two chapters (12 and 13) and get to the end of the first part (1 of 3!!!)...but nothing can be shown for a while. This problem means that I've got to edit in a lot more stuff in the chapters already written.
The old first third has got to be thoroughly edited too.
So big things are coming!
It's all starting to get quite exciting as the story delves deeper into the plot!
Can't say much, or I'll be giving it away, but it's starting to feel quite epic! A big journey and an amazing story. It's starting to feel like there's a lot to it!
Let's just hope it stays that way!

Sunday, 4 November 2012

Second Chapter Of Homeland!

So no faffing this time - I'm gonna get right down to it!
Here is the second chapter of Homeland:
Chapter Two
It all began on a cold evening in September. All that could be heard in the county of Shalo were the occasional hoots of owls in the forests and the marshes and the slosh of a wave in the harbour. The county was smaller than any other in the large island of Atlaan. The boats in the harbour bobbed up and down, the market was empty and still. The cobbled streets of the city were dark and lined with sleeping houses.

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

A Chapter For You To Read

I got started on Chapter 11 today. This means that I am chapters away from ending the first part.
Yes, we've split the whole thing in 3 parts.
I not really sure how many chapters will be in each part.
They are logical breaks because they are at the points of the stories when everything gets turned on its head all over again!
Seeing as I've published some of it on Wattpad, I thought I'd publish some on here. Seems only fair!
So what I'm going to give you in this post is the first chapter. 
We spent bloody ages on this! (would love some feedback!)

Thursday, 25 October 2012

2nd Prize In A Short Story Contest!

I am really happy to announce that I came 2nd place in the Wattpad short story contest (I posted the story up on here a few weeks ago).
It makes me feel like I might actually be able to get somewhere with my writing!
I've been compiling short stories for a while, most of which I originally wrote on here, and I'm planning to try and publish a group of 10 short stories :)
I think I have 5 so far...
While Wattpadding and blogging and writing short stories (and poems - I have put a group of 10 into a competition!), I have also been writing Homeland. (HA! I just miss-typed it by accident and it came out at gnomeland! Made me chuckle...I could actually make something out of that! A whole planet of gnomes with a king gnome called gnomlet and a princes gnome called gnomalessa...okay...maybe I'm getting a bit carried away...)
So Ben and I have now planned the 3 books (the first in meticulous detail - almost chapter by chapter...the others are just general outlines and plots). I want everything to be perfectly planned before we publish and, I know that's a while off, but it's something important we have to think about now because planning 3 books in meticulous detail doesn't exactly happen overnight, let-alone seven! (I bow down to you J.K. Rowling!)
So the planning still goes on.
And I know it's probably boring for you to read about planning but hey, that's what happens when someone writes a book!
So far, we have written up to 9 chapters.
Recently, we have been going back to old chapters and adding in different POV's - like Shalo's Mayor and a mysterious bird that I cannot spill the details about...
Finally, the story seems to be getting a bit more epic! I really want it to be epic (like Potter or LOTR) because I set myself ridiculously high goals (like a typical Virgo!).
And so it will be epic and it is finally in view of almost epicness...there is always room for improvement though!
M. x

Saturday, 20 October 2012

Ben is here!

Hey people,
remember my co-author Ben? He's here to talk to you :D

Friday, 12 October 2012


I'm sorry I've been away for a while! But, in truth, nothing much has happened in my life recently. The book is trudging a long instead of sprinting which I originally hope it would! I just don't understand! When I started it, it seemed like so much fun creating this new realm and all! But it seems a little silly now. I kind of feel childish when I write it! This is my boring adult side trying to take over and rule, I know, so I must fight it! It's always good to be slightly childish! I do suddenly feel like an adult though. I've had a year and a 1/4 of being an adult and only now am I feeling the change. Well. Everyone grows at different speeds!
Anyways, recently I've been on this website called Wattpad:
Wattpad is this amazing site that lets you publish what ever you've written for free and get it known to the other Wattpadders. And there are A LOT of Wattpadders! (I have the link to my Wattpad page on this edge of this page. It's a small orange box).
So I've been publishing my stuff on there. (There are three (four?) chapters of Homeland - yes! The Fantasy Novel documented in this blog - on there! Though they will probably be changed a lot in the future as new ideas are forming...)
Anywho, in my searches for good things to read on Wattpad (which, I admit, can be quite daunting with all that 1 Directions fan fics out there) I have come across some real jems!
If you could possibly take the time out of your wonderful day, please take a look at this:
It's up for a special Wattpad award and deserves to win!
It is incredibly well written, is only 4 pages long and really makes you think about the subtle and strange occurrences that happen throughout life. It's lovely. I've read it quite a few times now!
I've also found someones poetry that I've totally fallen for. They are written so well!
especially this one!:

Anyways, there's a lot of my stuff on my page as well so do take a look if you really can be assed. And if you can, I will love you forever! :) x
And novel news: I have decided to use more than one point of view. So the chapters will be skipping to different people occasionally - just to jazz it up a little and leave some cliffhangers! (This is the reason why I haven't published more on Wattpad. I know there is more to come that will change what has been already written).
M. x

Monday, 8 October 2012

Snapshots - Short Story

For those of you who have followed me for quite a while...
do you remember in the past when I used to post short stories I'd made from inspirational thingies? 
Well, on Wattpad (Where I have published two full chapters of my fantasy novel!) I have just written a short story for a short story contest and have decided to share it with all you delightful readers! :D
Here is my Wattpad Page:

Here is the picture inspiration:
And here's the short story:

Life through a camera lens is different to real life. The camera lens sees things differently. We can portray our lives through a camera lens in any way we choose.
Melody discovered the magic of the camera. Every day, she’d take pictures of herself with someone knew, posing as if they were a friend. She’d go somewhere and take pictures as if she were on holiday. Her pictures showed a life she didn’t have. A life she wanted to have.
Melody had died her hair a dark red to show the camera the changes in her life. Melody now wore a strapless short black dress when only a few weeks ago she wore an ACDC band t-shirt. She wanted to show the camera how she had changed. Her life was in the camera, while reality was on a stand-still.
“I regret giving her that camera” Her mother had said to her father one day. They didn’t know Melody was sitting in the room next door, taking the camera to pieces and putting it all back together again, over and over again. “She’s obsessing over it too much. She has it with her all the time! It’s silly how teenagers feel they have to document every part of their lives nowadays!” Her mother liked to go on rants about this and that. It made her feel like she was getting her say in the world, even if her say really didn’t make any difference. Her husband usually listened to her but not this time. And that was his mistake. She believed that Melody was just being a normal teenager and his wife was fretting too much.
Melody’s friends found the camera intriguing at first. They liked to take pictures with her. That is, until she confused them. She wanted to take pictures of things that weren’t happening. She wanted to pretend they were happening. Her friends rapidly turned away from her, with a nagging fear in their stomachs about her mental health and a warning in the back of their minds to stay well clear.
And so they did. Melody lost her friends at school but she didn’t mind. She had her life in her camera. She told herself it was real. How could you capture something unreal? She could prove she had lots of friends. She could prove it because she had pictures with them on her camera. Okay, granted, they weren’t always sitting beside her – in fact, they tended to be studying in the background or chatting to someone else but you know how it is with people – they’re always distracted!
Melody’s Mum as informed by a worried teacher that Melody had no friends at school. She was confused. Melody always talked of her many friends when they got back from they’d taken fun pictures of their day! But Melody would never show her pictures. She said, her mum didn’t need to know every single bit about her life! She was a teenager after all! She needed her privacy!
When Melody stopped going to school, she became friends with her therapist who loved to take pictures with her. With less people around, Melody decided to document the new objects she’d obtained in her life. She’d go out into town especially, taking pictures of her friends walking in the back ground, and she would buy something new to document. Her life was always changing, you see. And she wanted to remember how it was always changing.
Her therapist told her that she should leave her camera alone for some time. It would be good for her. So Melody lied and said she would. But how could she? Her camera held her life! For anyone else, it would be like lying still in bed for their whole lives!
Melody then moved homes. Her new home was completely white with padded cells. She documented this for a while but soon had nothing to take pictures off. After she had captured every bit of wall and every bit of body possible, she started to sink into the darkness.
When she awoke one morning, her camera went missing. She searched high and low for it in the white room of soft walls but it was not to be found. It had gone from her life and she needed another way of documented. She bit into her wrist and wrote on the walls in red.
The next morning, she was strapped down on a black bed, in the centre of the white room, unable to move. The black bed smelt of leather. She needed to remember that or at least tell someone! She needed to tell...she needed to...she needed...she...
She slipped into a state of unconsciousness. She was awake but she couldn't function.
Melody stayed there for 5 years and slowly forgot. She had always known that if she hadn't documented, she would forget.
She returned back home refreshed. As if she’d never had a camera in her life. As if she had never learned the magic of a camera.

Well, what did you think?
M. x

Friday, 5 October 2012

Ugh, Characters!

They are letting me down, somewhat. I've had a look over what I've written so far and I've decided it's just not good enough. There's so much more I need to do! My characters are one-dimensional, things just aren't clear enough and....and...
Okay yeah I know. It's my first draft. But this is my nature. I'm picky and perfectionist with my writing. It's annoying but I can't just leave it on the floor and move on. It's not me.
So I apologise if there's not much to update at the mo. I am having character problems.
I have given them a star sign each, to make them a little deeper. I have created little portfolio things for them each (or the ones I've created so far!) on my cute little note cards.
The problem is...I'm kinda making up a lot as I go which is dangerous. I need to plan in detail. That, also, it part of my nature. So excuse me while I rewind and edit and shizzle.
This book is going to take longer than I ever thought...
M. x

Monday, 24 September 2012

Brief Update

The internet is suddenly working again. Though I don't know how long it will last and I know that it can't be for long because it is taking ages to load anything and I keep getting a warning sign saying that this post can't be saved...
So in my brief moment of internet connection, I am updating you:
I have written chapter five and six. These chapters may seem frivolous but they are important in understand my main character. You will not understand what I mean as you haven't read them (and, no...I will not give out huge spoilers...I have a paranoid fear of someone stealing my idea...) but it is significant enough for me to post on here. Maybe it is purely for my own benefit to help me understand them...who knows?

Once seven is complete, I'll edit 8, 9 and 10 and will have four chapters complete all at once! A record! My record so far is two: chapters 5 and 6.

Chapter seven is no more or no less important as 5 and 6. It is currently planned in detail (in note form) and will be written out fully tomorrow.

I've also been creating loads of characters and their personalities.

I hope to give more charismatic posts in the future so I'll have to apologise for this rather plain and direct one! My internet is doing very badly and I don't know when it will be back up again.

I'd like to say hi to all those people I usually reach on the internet!

I feel like I'm in a major black-out! We lost the water earlier today as well! 
I had to go on the wettest dog walk ever today! 10 minutes into the hour long walk, I was so wet I didn't mind walking straight through huge puddles anymore!
When I got back, I sat on the floor by the fire in the living room creating characters and editing chapters.What a nice way to spend a wet day! It was lovely :)

I have to go now. My internet looks like it's about to crash. At the bottom of my screen are bars of signal like there would be on a mobile. When they are white, I have internet connection. Usually all five are white. About 2 minutes ago there were two. Now there is one.
I'll publish this before the internet crashes again!
M. x

Internet Lockdown

This blog is temporarily out of use due to abysmal internet connection. Sorry for any inconvenience!

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Super Speedy New Era

We've reached a new era in our writing!
My older brother, C, has been down for the weekend and has helped Ben and I set up a dropbox account which means that, via the internet, we can ;always share our files on the novel!
Isn't that cool! I think it is...
So when ever Ben or I make an edit of anything or add anything to the folder we share on dropbox, we both see it (a little bubble comes up on our computers saying what has been changed).
This means that we can work on seperate bits when ever we like instead of having to write it together or having to negotiate who should write what.
So when ever either of us have some sort of inspiration to write something, we can write what ever we like without fear that the other is writing the same bit.
Okay so that's not entirely true. We may both have some odd inspiration to do the same thing just a bit differently, so in that case, we'd have to edit them together but hey-ho, you get the picture.
From now on, everything is so much easier and hopefully that means things we be done far quicker.
It means that I don't have to manually email any updates I make for him to print out or read - he'll have every little detail I ever make!
Brill, huh! I think it is...
We have just finished writing chapter five which will soon be ready for others to edit :D
We then need to do chapter six and seven and huge section will finally be completed!
I have already written (okay so they're very rough) chapter 8 and 9...and I know exactly what happens in chapter 10...basically, everything takes a turn and changes.
We'll soon be moving onto a different section of the novel entirely!
And with the help of dropbox, that may get here even sooner :D
M. x
P.S. type dropbox into google if you're interested. It's a place to safely share files and to back up any files in your documents. x

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Learning To Live In The Wild

My character/s in the novel will be living wild for some time here and there throughout the plot.
That means, they need to know how.
That means I need to know how.
So I'm learning.
Yesterday, I used my spy/thief magic and I managed to sneak into my brother's room and steal some of his "How To Live In The Wild" books.
I then shut my bedroom door and quickly looked through which pages I'd need.
For about 2 and 1/2 hours last night I sat at the photocopier - which kept breaking - and now I have about 100 pages of information.
I can now write my own notes on the pages and I can learn how to live wild without anyone knowing!
If my family saw me doing this, they'd think I was going mad!
I do like camping - and they know that - but I've never been one for the wilderness!
Until now...reading up on and learning how to make knots and create shelters from nothing really makes me want to try it for myself! So today, I ransacked the house for rope and I've started to learn for myself.
I think, to make the lessons on how to survive in the wild believable in my book, I've got to understand them as well.
By the end of the next few chapters, I'll be as good as Bear Grills!
I've been making sketches on how the knowledge I've gained could be used.
It's as if, everything I learn, my characters learn. So if I decide to skip out a page because I really cannot be bothered to learn it (seeing as I'll most likely never be in that situation), I feel guilty because I'm stopping my character from learning it herself.
Is that weird?
Anywho, I need to get back to my wildlife studies.
M. x

Monday, 10 September 2012

My Double

On BBC Breakfast yesterday morning, there was a news item about a girl called Abigail Gibbs.
She's 18, about to go to university, has written a fantasy novel, adores JK Rowling, is a huge Harry Potter fan, prefers to write at night...
Ding Ding Ding!
She is my double!
Okay, so she's my double...just a bit in the future (hopefully!)

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Technical Disaster

This evening I edited and officially finished Chapter Four.
It was all ready to edit so I printed off the pages and handed them to Mum to read through.
Yeah, my editing schedule has been cut down a little now that my Step Mum and Dad are so busy.
Little Bro has just started in a new school so he's a bit tied down too!
So Mum's reading away and she finds a section that obviously isn't finished.
But it should be.
For some reason - I find out - my computer hasn't saved anything I wrote!
It didn't even save the edits I made a few days ago!
After about 1/2 an hour of swearing at the computer, thumping it and screaming till my throat hurt, I decided it was not a matter to cry over and I calmed myself down and tried to remember what I'd written.
It's not as good as it was but I can't do anything about that. I have what I have and I can't do any better than that.
I'm still getting a little bit angry but with this whole growing up thing, I seem to be better a bit better at controlling my raging anger.
A little bit.
I tend to explode, cry a little then calm myself - with a few tiny explosions here and there.
I like to watch something after I've fixed what ever went wrong just to calm me and get my mind out of anger zone.
I watched Burn Notice, a really good action series about a spy who gets burned.
Watch it. It's funny, clever and really good entertainment when you're feeling a little pissed at the world.
M. x

Friday, 31 August 2012

Lost And Found Prompt

Here is a piece of fiction I made up on the spot and wrote in about 10 minutes for The Lightning And The Lightning Bug:
Lost And Found
My Mum lost herself when her unborn baby, Katy, died. I was 16 at the time and I didn’t fully understand what was happening. She hid away in her room from the rest of the world for years. She forgot about me, her only son, and that she already had a family. It was as if Katy had been her sole purpose in life and without any purpose, she had no reason to live.

She didn’t have the courage to actually stop living. She just pretended she wasn’t alive. She sulked a lot and ate a lot of toast, dropping crumbs everywhere or she curled up in her bed and Dad had to sleep on the sofa.
We phoned up Grandma for help but even she couldn’t do anything. Dad then invested in a sofa bed and from then on, it was as if life had been paused for them.

But my life was changing all the time. My future was moulding itself and they didn’t have a place in it. I moved out and went to live with my best friend, Charlie. My parents didn’t say anything.
Grandma decided it was time to do something. So she sent her away to some sort of hospital for mentally unstable patients.

Without a family, I became the independent one in my friendship group. I got a full-time job in a local cafe after I left College, then bought myself a small flat in a tall building in London.

It was thirty years later when I saw my Mum again. I regularly met up with Dad and he gave me updates on her stability but I hadn’t actually seen her for 30 years!

At last, she came back home again – a very different person.

And do you know what made her find herself again? Ducks.

Yes, ducks. See, she’d fallen in love with Dad when they were sitting together feeding ducks. Although she hadn’t found what she used to be and would never be herself again, she did find her sanity. She found what she had turned into. It was like she had woken from a coma.

The ducks were in a small pond outside one the countless hospitals she went to. All she needed was something to jog her memory, like an electric current lighting up all the memories in her life. Dad had gone to visit her and she had been no better than she had been the week before but she was slowly getting better. He took her outside to the ducks and said the same words he had said to her the day she fell in love with him.

Isn’t it funny how one small thing can be so big to someone else?

Isn’t it funny that we always think of the many ways we could help, but we never actually consider whether they would actually help or not?

Isn’t it funny how one small gesture can fix so much?

This should be a lesson to us all.

Chapter Six

I've decided I don't care how many people are listening. This blog is for me to look at how far I have come with the novel. I want to be able to have a database of the stepping stones I've made.
So last Saturday, I packed to go to Italy the next day. (We went for 5 days)

That night, after packing, I had a sudden idea of how to start chapter six! It was strange - I'm so used to doing it in order that I didn't think jazzing it up would do anything! In fact, I thought jazzing it up would simply make the whole process more complicated!
But it turns out that it that provided me with a future, so that I'm not making up my character's tomorrows as I go. There is an aim now and everything that happens all has to lead up to this chapter six that I've just written (which might turn into chapter seven).

Friday, 24 August 2012

Is Anybody Out There?!!!

What has happened to this blog? It started off okay but it doesn't really seem to be going anywhere now. So much else is happening in my life that I don't have the time to focus on exactly what to say in each post.
You know, I used to write out each post on Word just to make sure it was good and then I'd copy it on here. I bet that's what everyone else but me does.
Well. Rambling doesn't appear to work. Nobody reads this anymore.

Is The Real Struggle Broken?

I sat down with my Little Brother yesterday and we did a few hours' proper work on chapter four. I think we've pretty much got through it!
Okay, so it needs patching up and I haven't actually written the middle bit yet but I know exactly what to write!
It's just such a dull chapter to write! I think I need to get used to writing about people and relationships rather than what is actually happening at every second of every moment. Barely anything happens in this chapter - that is why I was finding it hard to write!
So I made the simple decision to write little about what is actually happening and, instead, write about the people, the place and the past!
At last, I may have got through this horrible writers' block!
I say 'may have' because I haven't started chapter five yet and that might be as difficult!
Positivism, I say to myself. Positivism is key.
Before yesterday, I had just sat down for a few hours each day doing epic research into mythologies and myths and legends and folk stories and so on. My novel will be piled up to the roof with ancient stories! Okay, it won't be dominated by them but it will have the hints of them all around! :)
M. x

Monday, 20 August 2012

A Real Struggle

I would love to say that chapter four is coming along nicely but it is, in fact, the exact opposite!
Ben and I are hugely struggling! We know what is meant to happen in the chapter, but we really don't know what to write, how to make it interesting and how to introduce the reader to the new characters!
I think we need to add depth to the whole situation we have got our main character into.
She is currently living with a whole new society and culture to her own.
We could add a religion?
I need to work on the character's personalities!
I need to understand the culture more and make it far more detailed.
At the moment, I hardly know what it would be like for her there so, all in all, chapter four is a while away!
We are really struggling with this and are desperate to get this chapter done and dusted!
It is a slow chapter - it's not as exciting as the first 3 because we think there has to be a bit of downtime after such an adventure.
Well. We shall see how it goes! I worry that I won't have enough time to write the whole book but, then again, I have about 13 months left!
I am currently doing some research into myths, legends, folk stories and mysteries which could influence me in some way. I am also considering using some directly.
Wish me luck in the writing of the next chapter!
This is what they call writer's block, I guess. Yes. It's the epitome of writers block!
M. x
P.S. Feel free to participate in my poll! I'm interested in seeing what people think is the best fantasy novel out of a choice of 5 novels. It is somewhere on the side bar -->

Wednesday, 8 August 2012


Trains are inspiring. Don't ask me why, they just are!
When I'm on a train, ideas just come to me! Maybe it's because you have so much time to just think, watch, listen and look. (I know looking and watching seem the same thing but, believe me, they are really different!).
When J.K. Rowling is on train she happens to create childhoods for a whole generation and more! She first had the idea of Harry Potter when she was on a train.
So I like trains. I get ideas on trains. So does J.K. Rowling. I like being like J.K. Rowling!
So anyways...while on my 5 hour train journey to Glasgow yesterday, I created games and food and plants and bits and bobs that will hopefully add depth to everything.
Now that I have a relatively quite week in Glasgow, I'm going to try and write a lot more of my book. I haven't got as far as I hoped I would!
M. x

Monday, 6 August 2012

Kayaking Adventure

For the last three days, I have been on a kayaking trip down the Wye with my Dad, Step Mum and Little Brother. (Details are on my diary blog)
While Kayaking, I could see long green weeds below me, that actually looked like some sort of weird creature. I have incorporated these into my story and have decided that my two main characters should travel somewhere down a river in wooden kayaks and should get attacked by these creatures.

I now have the basic outline of 2 books - but this project is to complete the first book, so I mustn't get too far ahead of myself!
I'm still struggling with writing chapter four of this book, but I'll hopefully find some time to work on it in the next week in Scotland.
I will be bringing my laptop with me so I'm not disappearing again!
I have planned the events up to 13 chapters, I just need to write it now!
Chapter Three is well and truly on it's way - it is right in the middle of it's editing process
There's not much more to update you on....
Updates on my life in general will be found at my diary blog :)
Hope that life is good in general for all readers :)
I apologise that my posts have been relatively boring recently - this novel isn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be.
Or maybe I'm just being pessimistic? I'm in a bit of a dull, down mood, as you can tell.
If you want to know, It's because I'm desperate to just spend some time at home and relax, writing, reading, doing whatever, but I'm packing to go away from home for the third time since July 18th.
I'm tired of going away from home.
And when I'm not feeling particularly happy about something, I find it hard to "switch on the light", as J.K. Rowling puts it...
So there's a little lesson about my personal psychology...
I hope everyone else is feeling brighter than I am!
M. x

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Walks On The Hills

While I've been camping in Wales, I have been adding to the novel.
I would love to say that chapter four is coming on nicely but I can't say it is I'm afraid!
I'm really struggling to make it interesting for the reader and for me to write! At the moment, it is just plain boring! I've decided that after all the drama in the first three chapters, the reader is now in need of some down time to take in everything that's just happened.

Apparently I'm not very good at writing about down-time.

So chapter four may take a while as I need to play around with it a bit more!
Chapter three is up and running in the editing side of things!
It's mum's turn to do the editing!

While in Wales, I took walks on the hills and cliff paths to clear my head and to wake me up in the mornings. This has given me some inspiration for places and objects, humour and details. My walks on the hills gave me a lot of inspiration for a lot of things and, will thought and imagination, will hopefully set me on a straight path again!
I'm thinking of skipping past this difficult chapter four and going straight on to the next chapter, however, this may make chapter four all the more difficult to write as I'll have to stick to the boundaries of how to lead into the next chapter and what things to mention!
Wish me luck!
Hope everyone is well :)
M. x

Thursday, 19 July 2012

How To Edit A Novel.

My little brother, Ben, and I have come up with long routine which will ensure the correctness of the novel. Hopefully it will make it better as well.
We write a chapter, then hand it on to others to edit.
Here is the detailed routine we have created:
1) I write the chapter
2) Ben reads it over and adds whatever is needed
3) He sends the chapter back to me and I add it all in
4) Ben reads it over and hands it on to my Dad and Step Mum
5) I add in any edits they have made
6) I hand it on to my Mum
7) I add in any edits she has given
8) I hand it on to Maisie, who is outside the whole business so will have no preconceptions
9) At last, we move on to the next chapter.

It sounds rather grueling but most of the work is just attaching it to emails and having others read through and edit it for us!
It makes me feel sure that the chapter is the best it can be and will only be edited if changed are made to the novel as a whole - names of characters, of people, new characters, more things to mention etc.

In this way, I hope to succeed in make a successful novel!
I will be away for the next 10 or so days (on a camping holiday in Wales), however, I will not stop writing!
There will probably be some sort of advancement by the time I am back!
I hope to have a few more chapters written :) (Though, I doubt they will all have gone through the rough editing process.)
If chapters had feelings, this process would hurt!
So I say ciao for now :)
M. x

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Chapter Three

I've had countless read through's by friends and family for the first few chapters and have finally managed to sort all of the mistakes they pointed out. Most of them were grammatical but some were things that just weren't clear or just didn't make any sense.
I love to have someone outside my mind read through what I've written. They see it from such a different angle because they have to preconception of what happens next, what's supposed to happen or what used to happen.
It's very hard to proof read my own stuff I find!
Anyway, it was quite touching when, today, my Mum requested the next chapter. She said she was desperate to read on! I have only ever showed anyone the first two chapters of the story and in the third chapter, things change rather drastically!
You can tell things will change by the last chapter but it is not at all clear what the change will be.
So it's a nice thought to know that somebody is waiting for the next installment!
So that has pushed me to write it! Okay, so there's not much formed in it.
The new information coming in isn't very deep or thought-through.
I've decided some things that weren't there until very recently but I'm finding it hard to be imaginative when I'm this tired!
It's 1:54 am where I am. I know, it's stupid of me to stay up so late but, truthfully, I write best at night, for some reason.
So anyway, I've now made a detailed plan of what is to happen in the next part of the story, but the next chapter isn't very detailed yet.
In fact, it's rubbish and very unfinished.
I will have to get back to it tomorrow evening.
Yes, I will have to be nocturnal if I can only write best at night!
M. x

Thursday, 12 July 2012

Chapters One and Two

Last night, my little brother and I sat down and wrote the beginning to our story.
It took, roughly, about an hour and a half! Maybe even longer...
I'm not entirely sure whether that's what is expected or not.
Did we right it fast or slowly?
Well anyway, once we'd finished it, we decided we'd leave it for the night and take another look at it the next day.
Before he got back from school today, I wrote the second chapter. I knew exactly what was meant to go into it so it wasn't actually too difficult!
When he got back from school, we printed them both out, and, with a red pen, switched parts around, cut bits out, added this and that, changed things and generally made it FAR better.
We now have two chapter which we are throroughly pleased with!
I have tried to sit down and write this so many times and each time I just couldn't come out with anything brilliant. But now I realise, it's not coming up with brilliance, it's just concentrating fully on the task in hand and simply doing it
So we've now managed to create the first two chapters of the book! 
I'm really happy about them and I'm really pleased we've managed to start writing! 
However, I'm not sure we can go much further yet as the depth of the coming chapters is not fully created. Creatures aren't fully understood, the exact events have been decided much yet. 
We have a lot of planning ahead to do!
One writer once said that the imagination goes into the planning but not into the writing. I totally disagree. Imagination is needed every step of the way!
M. x

Wednesday, 11 July 2012


Eleven is a scary number for me, so it is a bit scary that The Lightning and The Lightning Bug just happen to have chosen that number of any number.
They have asked us to write a story in 11 words. So here is my story. My horribly true story:

I turned Seven on September Eleventh. My house number is Eleven.

Yes, my seventh birthday was on September 11th.
My house number is 11, I am a twin, the twin towers came down and the towers make the shape of an 11.
It means I have to have a minute of silence on my birthday (unless my birthday luckily lands on a Sunday.)
Now that I think about it, I realise I don't have to have a minute of silence anymore because I don't go to school anymore!
So my birthday can't land on a school day anymore!
Unless they force us into it in university.
I'm not a heartless bitch, I just don't want to think about such depressing things on my birthday!
No. This does not make me a terrorist!


Sunday, 8 July 2012

Am I Being Stupid?

I have decided to just make myself write. I know the first few chapters now in great detail - but for some reason, I just can't get them down onto paper in an acceptable way...
By acceptable, I mean in in a way that doesn't make me cringe.
I'm now having second thoughts about my beginning. Shall I give my readers more time to understand my main character and the place she is in? Or shall I just leave it as it is?
But is this stupid?
I've been looking at writing help such as "Ten Top Tips for the first few chapters of your novel"
One of the tips was to start the novel when you've finished the rest.
In other words, do it right at the end of everything.
Today I did a big brain storm session with my little brother and we have now come up with characters, plots, new animals, adventures, questions etc. etc.
We have a lot of material now.
But now it needs writing!
Okay, so I know there are more details that need to be looked at but I really think it's time I just write anything onto paper and then read it through.
What I've been doing recently is writing a paragraph then editing it then deleting it entirely.
This, inevitably, gets me no where.
I'm just going to write and find out what spills out of my pen.
Do wish me bon chance!
M. x

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Fear Has Caused Neglect

Neglect is, in this case, because of fear.
Yes. I admit it. I have been neglecting this blog.
I created my diary blog to give me something else to do and it turns out I must have created it because of my unknown feelings of fear and a bit of dread.
Truth is, I never really knew what to write about on this blog, so I did the A-Z and then talked about art and I tried to give some inspiration to other writers and I talked about books...but I never really talked about my book, purely because I didn't want to confront the fact that there was nothing to talk about.
Nothing was happening with my book.
So recently, I took action. I gathered millions of books from the living room downstairs which I thought might help me with the creation of the book. Fairy tales by the dozen, small books on insects, plants, birds and the stars; ancient Roman, Greek and Celtic myths and so on.
I envisioned myself being locked away in my room, studying hard on this and that.
Turns out that that is the stuff of movies.
People don't actually have to patience to sit inside and read and note all day. Or maybe I just have less patience than the people who do.
Now that I actually think about it, I realise that writing a novel is a much bigger feat than I ever thought.
When I started this, I thought it would be like creating my own fantasy world and then writing a story in it.
But then I became too ambitious.
I wanted it to be like a children's story with lots of hidden meanings and clever references throughout.
I now want to include each and every fairy-tale, myth and legend throughout while also adding in stuff of my own. But it turns out that that is not possible if I don't actually have the knowledge of myths, fairy-tales and legends.
My brilliant novel which is going to prove me to my family and friends is turning out to be a tad more difficult that I originally thought.
A tad.
It's a nightmare.
Where do I start?
The more I think about it, the more I freak out!
At this rate, only my research for it will be completed by the end of my gap year!
I will never complete this project in time, if ever!
Will I ever publish a book?
Will I end up looking like a fool to everyone who knows about my crazy ambition?

Breathe. I say to myself. Calm down.

Yes, I am the only one who can say calm down to myself, though it angers me a little just because of my associations with the saying. Anyone who knows me well will know that if they were to say "calm down" to me at any time, they may lose some of their teeth and find themselves with a purple jaw...

And then I stupidly decide to embark on another huge project - reading a book a week for a year. (Check my diary blog for details!)

Too much all at once?
Hmm. I wonder. Will any of this ever get done? Do I actually have the patience to do all this at once?

And I suddenly find myself with a purple jaw and less teeth because I've told myself to calm down yet again.
Will I have any teeth left by the end of this year? Perhaps that's why I recently got terrible toothache and had to go for a million dentist appointments?
M. x
P.S. I apologise for any serious over-use of sarcasm and exaggeration.
P.P.S I have changed my blog background because I got bored of the old one. It seems childish and far too colourful for me now. I guess we all change over time and I have grown out of 'pretty' backgrounds! :) Although I no longer like my title thing, I can't bare to remove it yet! It took me SO long to create! And I don't know if I'd ever know how to put it back if I wanted to!

Monday, 2 July 2012


Okay, so I'm not literally brain-dead - I am known for exaggerating.
I would've called this post Imagination-Dead but it doesn't sound as catchy...
Basically, I have had the most crazy weekend (will soon be explained on my diary blog) so my mind hasn't really been book-focused.
Now that the weekend is over, I am exhausted, sun burnt and craving all the home comforts at the same time!
So just give me some time to recover and I will be up and running again in no time!
M. x

Wednesday, 27 June 2012


Yesterday, I searched the bookshelves in my bedroom and pulled out the ones that may help me with my novel. I cleared a space in my book shelves for these and resolved to go to the bookshelves in the living room to look for a few more.
A few more a bit of an understatement...

Friday, 22 June 2012

A Few Questions

Now that I am able to write whenever I want, a few questions seem to have started to pop up.
For instance, should I write the chapters in chronological order? Or will it just get boring like that? Should I, then, write random ones here and there and fit them together later?
Should I write it in past or present tense?
Should I write it in "I did this" or "she did this"?
It feels like these questions are coming up just to pause me. For some reason, I feel hesitant to start.
I always want to make chapters perfect the first time I write them, which is hugely problematic for me because I, therefore, never get anywhere.
Oh dear. This has not gone well so far.
M. x

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

When You Comment, I smile!

Yes, It's true. When you comment., I smile!
When you comment, I feel remembered.
And when I feel remembered, I feel motivated.
And motivation is what I need at the moment!

Monday, 18 June 2012

Let's start!

I have officially finished my A Level exams! My life starts now!

My little brother and I have already started developing some ghost plots and family trees. I will be dedicated. I will not sit back and relax, I will write a novel and (hopefully) become a published author like I have dreamed to do since I was 6!
My life is in my hands now, so I can write, write write, to my hearts content!
M. x

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

The Time Is Just Around The Corner!

The time for my writing race to begin is just around the corner!
Okay, I say race when I know it isn't.
What I really mean is 'writing frenzy'.
I have a very busy summer organised, in which my laptop and all my files for this novel project will come with and the creation of my novel will be fully under way!
I have been so desperate to write over the last few months, it has been infuriating to know that my exams are more important!
I have booked a week in Glasgow, visiting some family friends and their new child.
The Father, (whom we call Big T as he has the same name as my twin, T), is an English Professor in a university in Glasgow and is madly passionate about English - as am I.
My various expeditions happening throughout summer will hopefully give me some new material, ideas, knowledge and experiences which we help my think outside the book and develop the novel that much further.
My summer includes a day tour of the Harry Potter Studios!, watching T run with the Olympic flame!, going to Hop Farm Music Festival and watching BOB DYLAN live! (I am a HUGE fan of his!), going to 6 debates/philosophical talks on one weekend, kayaking down the river Wye with my Dad, going on our annual fishing holiday in Wales, going somewhere in Europe with my mum and C, - my older brother who is in the - army - and having a huge charity music festival in the village in which I live! I think that just about leaves me with around 3 weeks (not in a row at all!) to hang at home and see friends.

As my chance to write inches ever closer, my mind and imagination seems to spark into life.
But I mustn't explode onto the paper yet!
I must focus on exams first! :(
To all those others taking exams out there, I wish you bonne chance, good luck!
I will see this blog again very soon after the 18th of June!
M. x
P. S. I just had a look at some of my first posts and I have realised how far I have come! My posts are so much better now!
And that is all down to my readers and fellow bloggers, for teaching me how to do it!
:D M. x

Sunday, 3 June 2012

New Blog!

This will probably be my shortest post ever!
Just giving a shout-out to my new diary blog.
Here's the link:
M. x
P.S. Vote on my poll about what is the best fantasy novel.
I'm V. interested to see the results! :D

From Naivety To The Other Side Of The World

For the Lightning and The Lightning Bug:

Shalo is a busy county, surrounded by prejudices and is despised by all elsewhere on the island of Kendra. It is a city purely run by humans. The poor are treated like dirt and the rich are endlessly privileged while other creatures and races from around the world are frowned upon. Here is a tale in which magic is an ancient mystery - an ability created by genes. This tale is a physical and mental journey from naivety to the other side of the world. An adventure-filled and characteristic novel about growing up, friendship and the homeland. A young girl, Malina, is banished from Shalo, the tightly enclosed land in which she grew up and discovers a whole new world of adventure. With a logical mind, she manages to find her way through seemingly impossible circumstances and develops strength and determination. Upon discovering a new homeland, she decides and manages to fight for its safety, while facing difficult trials of her own. A dark force searches for her in revenge for the past, an unknown reputation of hers is discovered, making her circumstances all the more difficult and, eventually overcome with troubles, she is forced into hiding in the mountains with an ex-oracle and a renowned outlaw. Here, she discovers her full magical abilities and develops it through mind-control and deep intellectual study. While she is safely tucked away inside the mountains, discovering the mysteries of the universe, the dark force grows in strength and power, only one sea away.

(250 words)

Monday, 21 May 2012

A Levels vs. My Life

Hey guys,
sorry I haven't posted in a while or even read or commented on anyone else's blogs for a while.
Today I realised my lack of attendance to the blog, so I've now decided to give in.
A Levels are my life now.
That is all I think about and all I do.
I'm sure most of you have been there!
So I am signing off until the 18th of June when I finish everything and I can talk about the two performances just completed that day, the exams I will have finished and my fear/excitement of the change of life that is about to come.
I will also have a chance to properly start my book! Writing, I mean.
I am going to miss this small getaway but I will be back and ready to write!
I may be full of ideas as well, after my play which is set in 1720!

So, for now, fare thee well and may you prosper and keep posting :)
M. x

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

The Lightning and the Lightning Bug

Thank you so much for putting up my post!
It's really exciting for me coz I'm relatively knew at this :)
Sorry, won't be making a new post for a while - I have a v. important exam tomorrow and there are more coming! :S I will post when I can :)
M. x

Monday, 14 May 2012

18 year old M finds her immaturity.

Recently, I've been feeling very grown-up, being allowed to drink alcohol whenever I like, having very important exams very close by, having my friends drive me around in their cars...but you adults out there have to admit that we are all very juvenile at times...

So here is where my story begins...

The headmaster of my 6th Form College is my RS teacher...
He's very powerful in the school and you just don't get on his bad side. Maybe I was just feeling a bit rebellious today...
Last year, I didn't do so well in one of my exams and he decided that I would retake it. I decided that I wouldn't. He decided that he wasn't happy that I wouldn't so has been trying to convince me otherwise.

He says he knows me well (we usually get along) but he evidently hasn't worked out how stubborn I am yet!

I decided against doing the retake. This is my life. I am 18. I can make my own decisions.
But he won't listen and just keeps going on and on about it.
And today in the lesson, in front of the whole class, this is how the conversation went:

Head: So, M are you going to do the retake?

M: *M roles her eyes* No. I don't want to.

Head: Why?

M: Blah blah blah blah blah. (That's M saying all the reasons why which would take ages to explain and would bore you even if I tried).

Head: Well, I think you're making a mistake!

M: (*getting annoyed*) well I DON'T!

Head: Look, if I didn't think it was a good idea I wouldn't say it.

M: I didn't say you didn't think it was a good idea. I just don't think it'll help me in the slightest.

Head: (*he is known for being obsessed with university. Seems to think that is the only route in life*) It will help you get into University! It will help you get the grades you need!

M: So what? I'll probably have to reapply anyway because I changed my mind about what subject I want to study and, anyway, it will not kill me if I don't get an A.

Head: (*also getting annoyed*) But you might end up getting a C! (*shock horror!!!!!!*)

M: Okay, so I'll get what I deserve. I don't particularly care.

Head: (*eyes widen in complete and utter horror at my words*) Fine. You be stubborn. Good luck with your exam. I won't bring this up again!

So then M got a bit childish and, just coz she knew it would irritate him, she says


while staring right into his eyes, in a very childish and immature way.

Apparently this was the wrong thing to say but M really didn't give a damn.


The Head shouted.

M just stared into his eyes with a I do not give a damn kinda look while thinking You are not my father! You are not my father! He actually seems to think he is though which M finds kinda weird...

All this shouting made M laugh. Angry shouting from a teacher nearly always does. Even when it is the headmaster.She had to try desperately hard not to make it show in her eyes or to burst out into very loud laughter. Inside, she was squirming with the giggles:

Hehehehe! He shouted! hehehehe He's angry! hehehehe! He can't control his anger! hehehehehe!

M can be very childish at times.

She was meant to be taking this very seriously.

M didn't even say sorry. She just stared at him in the same way until he carried on with the lesson.
Man, M can be very stubborn sometimes!

So, that's my little story of the day!
The argument gave me such a good sense of catharsis that I spent the rest of the day in a very cheerful mood and I still am in a cheerful mood! I should be rude to him more often!!

Sunday, 13 May 2012

BGT Final

Yes, I do watch Britain's Got Talent. Well, I only watch the finals...

I just need to get this out of my system...

Why did Pugsey win?? Yes, he's cute and a very clever dog, but seriously?
A dog beat Jonathan Antoine's voice?
What is the world coming to?
Anyone who hasn't heard Jonathan Antione's voice, just check this out!
His voice is just incredible for his age!
My Dad, a professional concert pianist and opera-singer teacher even agreed with me! And Dad really knows his stuff in this area. 
(I might as well give a shout out to my Dad's website in case anyone is interested:

I thought RyaO'Shaughnessy was going to win, and when it was announced he wasn't in the top three, I was gutted! I love him to bits!

Well, now that that's out of my system, I can get some sleep!

Saturday, 12 May 2012

So Whose The Techno Freak Now?

For the Lightning and The Lightning Bug:

My older brother has always been known as the one with all of the techno knowledge. When ever a techno-problem arose, we would always go to him. But then he left for the army and it's not so easy to get him to fix things for us over the phone, so I had to step up and help. Now, I can't say i'll ever be as technologically advanced and knowledgeable as he is, but I do know some stuff - like how to find things on a computer, which buttons mean what and so on. But, until the other day, I realised that my older brother had never witnessed this as, when ever he was on an army break, he would be the one we automatically turn to.
So the other day, I found him setting up a new remote control for the TV (our other one is broken).
He asked me,
"What else is there that needs fixing?"
And, without thinking, I started going off on one about the EXT link on the TV and which buttons I usually have to press to make the TV work again and all this complicated stuff that I probably couldn't even name now.
In that long sentenced of mine, I managed to sound exactly like he does when talking to IT friends. Most of the things I said were just words I had learned from seeing them so often, not from an understanding of what they meant. But he must have though I did understand them because in reply, he gave me a strange look, saying 
"WOW. I didn't know you could turn it on, let alone fix it!"
but, being his secretive self, he hid away this shock and carried on as if everything was normal.
It was then that I realised he had never known about my techno skills before.
It kind of made me feel good, that I could prove myself to him! But now I'm wondering whether it made him feel slightly redundant, despite his constant complaining that he's always helping us with the same problems...

M. x

Thursday, 10 May 2012


So I've just discovered that I have a serious mouth infection. And it hurts. A LOT. I'm on a lot of drugs for the next week so won't be feeling great!
I always find it funny when I go to the dentist.
You know those silly voices people put on when answering the phone?
"Ringmer Dental Practice. How can I help you?"
You can hear the voice when you read that, can't you?
Well, I find my dentists funny because it's as if the receptionist has used this voice so often, she can't seem to stop it! She speaks like that to you in real life! (opposed to just on the phone).
I always have to keep a straight face when she speaks to me.
I am not a child, woman! I am officially an adult! 
Well, I am legally an adult, but that doesn't mean I have to act like one!

Anyway, I named this post Episodes because I have realised that whenever I go to the dentists or the doctors for something, it's never something normal, like the flu.
Oh, no. I get something rare, something weird that no one in my family can even try to identify.
Okay, so my family are musicians, not doctors, but we know a little bit about which illnesses do what!
The last time I went to the doctors was because I had found a cyst behind my eyelid!
I have  big problem with my eyes. Whenever my immune system is down, I tend to get either conjunctivitis or a sty. It's nasty, I know - but, for me, it's what comes with being ill.

Whenever I fall ill enough or in pain enough to go to the doctors/dentists, it's always like a very short episode in mine and my parents' lives. Everything starts off rather boring. Nothing is happening in my life. I'm reading, or something, because I have nothing else to do or because I'm bored of doing school work. And all of a sudden, something nasty pops up and I'm rushed to the local doctors, prescribed something, poked and prodded and then I'm back home, ill for a few days and weighed down with  specially prescribed drugs.

Today was one of those. Yesterday I woke up with serious mouth pain and just took a lot of pain killers, hoping it would go away. Today I woke up and it was WAY worse, so I was rushed to the dentists and now, of course, I am weighed down with drugs and trying to work out when I am free enough for it to be sorted.

When it hurts (when the pain killers haven't kicked in), it hurts so much, I can hardly talk, eat or concentrate on anything other than the pain! This must be the worst time to have this tooth pain, a week before my exams start! I'll just have to work through the pain! So, with all my exams staring me in the face, rather than just round the corner like they were last week, and this searing pain in my mouth, I, yet again, have got no further with my novel :(
I am desperate to write though! I used to say that if I could be given an 8 day week, I may be able to write it, but at the moment, that extra day would just be filled with work and revision.

All I can do is cross my fingers and hope that everything goes okay!
M. x

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Damien Hirst Exhibition

All that stress I wrote about in last week's post seems to have just been a bad patch. Today I had quiet a cheery day!
Anyways, I promised a post on my trip to London!
Now, I am a downright country girl. London is a while away and bloody expensive to get to, so, as a general rule, I just don't go there. But when I do, it completely exhausts me and shoves in my face just how much I am a country bumpkin. Nevertheless, I find a trip to London incredibly exciting! (If it's only for a short while. Living there would be hell!)
So, Mum and I got to London Bridge with half an hour to get to the exhibition before our 'slot' closed to go in. (We had pre-booked.) We rushed around, attempting to work out how to get there, passing interesting things like some big church my mum once attended a wedding in, and some Victorian boat called The Golden Hinde. Apparently, it was amazing to have been able to look inside the church and see this boat I'd never heard of so I just took it as a very lovely, cultural experience!
As we got to Tate Modern, we found that the queue for the tickets was HOURS long, and began despairing until we quickly worked out that there was such a thing as a 'pre-booked tickets queue'!
Have you ever had that feeling when you get to walk right past a massive queue and groaning people and just go right in?
It was amazing! Now I feel mean to all those poor, already tired people, but hey! What could I do? So we collected our tickets and looked at the next daunting queue to see Damien Hirst's diamond skull. We decided to leave it for later. Yes. It was that bad!

We headed upstairs for the exhibition, and, soon enough, we were in! We saw a ping-pong ball hovering on the blowing air of a hairdryer (that must have taken years to balance!), - the same thing was found in a different room, just much larger, without a hair dryer and with a beach ball - a picture with Hirst smiling next to a dead head, lots and lots of dots and coloured pans on a wall and so on. For me, these were the things that didn't matter so much.
Dots. (Notice how they are not centered!)
Dead Head

(I couldn't find a picture of the beach balloon.)
Other stuff included A Thousand Years:

The white box is where flies are born. The cow's head is real. The flies then eat the head and die in the same enclosure. It is there for us to see the life cycle. 

It's quite nasty, isn't it? But the ideas behind it are fascinating! He does other weird things, like animals in formaldehyde:

This is one of his most famous pieces.

He also does a cow and calf divided in two. You can walk between the two sides and see the real insides of the animals.

Some argue that this is not art, it is just science. But Damien Hirst knows this! What I love about him is that he does modern art to take the piss out of if. His dots are done by someone else so that art critics ask what is behind the painting, when all it is are dots (and a mocking tone to those analysing!)
Hirst is brilliant and incredibly clever!
I admit, some of the stuff he does is quite disgusting.
For example, a circular canvas of dead flies...

He also made what looks like stain glass windows out of butterfly wings:

and one of the rooms of the exhibition was full of live butterflies! I'm not very good with butterflies but I decided to test myself instead of sitting back comfortably my whole life, so I went inside. When I say I'm not very good with them, what I mean is, they pretty much terrify me. I hate moths. They are horrid things. Surely people can understand that? So why are butterflies any different? They are just prettier!
So I went inside this room, which had a quick escape root on the other side if needs be. Imagine going into a room full of one of your worst nightmares! (My WORST would have been spiders. If that were the case, nothing would have been able to drag me in there). Mum wouldn't go in because she hates them as much as spiders.
When I went in, I wasn't really ready for their size! These things were MASSIVE! English butterflies may reach the size a small coaster, but these were dinner plate butterflies!
They flew by my face, my feet and even landed on people!
My worst fear is getting live things stuck in my hair. Of all the nasty things in the world, my two biggest fears are spiders and wasps. When I was little, I got a wasp stuck in my hair and since then, I've always had some paranoia that something is stuck, I just can't feel it.
So there I was, having a mini panic attack in the middle of the room, with everyone else casually strolling about with butterflies clinging onto them.
I lasted a minute. But I was proud of myself! I didn't back out at the entrance - I went in! I didn't just run straight for the exit - I stuck with it for as long as I could bear! And I felt tested. My heart was beating from fear and adrenaline and I felt I had got what I had wanted from the experience!

The rest of Hirst's stuff was hugely fascinating, such as this:

and, of course, this:

but I'd seen the skull before and nothing else had affected me quite as much as the live butterflies!
Damien Hirst is, overall, wonderful because he discusses religion, life, death, modern art, beauty and the comodification of art. He's a genius, he's intelligent and he's funny and I am a huge fan.

(The reason why I say this so directly is because when we got back, we got into a debate with some friends about whether Tracy Emin - who I really don't like - or Damien Hirst is a better artist. It got me quite het up...)

I hope this taught you something about artistic brilliance!
M. x

Monday, 7 May 2012


I didn't know things could get anymore stressful!
With my A Levels just round the corner, and a relatively difficult life at home, I thought this was all I could take.
But the stress just gets worse and worse, and along with it comes those unhappy thoughts about the past, present and future. The other day, I just realised that when I go to university, I won't be seeing my little brother whenever I like. I don't see him that much anyway, but I think he is what keeps me sane. I get to unleash my imagination with him without him thinking I'm weird. I get to be fascinated by lego star wars models and pictures of frightening monsters he draws.

This weekend I went round to Dad's for dinner because it was Dad's birthday and discovered that my little brother had taken time to contribute something towards the novel project. It was brilliant.

My little brother is an all-rounder. He plays the cello and can sing, is brilliant at writing and has a brilliant imagination. He's good at Cricket and Rugby. He knows everything there is to know about animals and just gets science (unlike me!). He understands things like atoms and he's only ten! He knows everything about the Tudors and every other bit of history and I don't even know the order of the different periods! He just got a scholarship and a 100% bursary to one of the top grammar schools in England, saving us £50,000!

But when I go to university, I'll lose touch. I won't know what interests him anymore. He'll start to fancy girls and I won't be there to coach him! He may not like history anymore and I won't know! It'll start with long phone calls about life at uni but they'll get shorter and shorter as our lives become more distant.

I need him. He is the only functioning brother I have. My twin is disgustingly rude and nasty most of the time and my older brother is away in the army most of the time. When he's on leave, it's all very lovely but there's nothing really to talk about. We have nothing in common. Now that I think about it, we never did have much in common.

My little brother is one of my best friends as well as a brother. He looks up to me and keeps me going because I want to show him that you can continue with life, no matter how hard it gets. I want to show him how to deal with school without being bullied. Just stay under the radar and try not to get noticed, that's how I do it. I worry that he'll be too cocky, thinking he's the most intelligent in the class, when he's not. The more intelligent ones will be keeping quiet.

All this depressing talk must be very boring, but it's what's going through my mind at the moment and everything that goes through my mind seems to end up on this blog at some point. I like to see this blog as a diary. But not a diary that nobody reads and ends up being thrown in the bin; a diary in which I can get advice and share my thoughts, and, perhaps, help others to realise that they are not alone.

Everyone seems to have similar thoughts about things; similar worries, similar upsets. The only difference in people is the way they go about showing it.

So with all this on my mind and A Levels I should be revising for at this very moment, things really couldn't get any harder. Right?

At my Dad's birthday dinner last night, the dog came in limping terribly. There was no thorn in her foot or surface wound but she did not look happy. We phoned the vet and they reckon it's just a sprain, but there is a chance that it is broken.

Now, I know this is hardly as big as my worries around my relationship with my little brother and so on, but it just gives our family more stress than it needs. With little money anyway, we really can't pay for an x-ray for the dog! Vets are expensive these days!

I guess I should be looking forward to going back to London tomorrow. I've never really been one for cities - they're took big and bustly for me - but I do like to go and look at art with Mum. It'll be a Mum/Daughter day out in London. I live in thick countryside so, for me, going to London for the day is almost as big as it would have been in Jane Austen's times. Okay, so we're spending a few hours there, not a few weeks, but it is exciting for me! Life is so plain and boring at home. Everyone thinks it must be heaven living in the countryside. In truth, it's boring as hell when you get to 18, desperate to get out and have a life.

Well. I'll report on tomorrow's exciting trip!
M. x

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Update on My Button

I have finally got my button (almost) fully working!
I feel like such a techno genious, thanks to Jeremy Ross at The Lightning and The Lightning Bug! He told me how to do it... but this is a big step for me!
I'm considered the one to ask for tech-help in my house hold, seeing as my computer genius brother has disappeared off to the British Army (though he's back for the next 10 days!!). 
But this was something I just couldn't get my head around!
So, to anyone else out there who's new to the whole computer text thing, here are some people and websites who may be willing to help!! - this is where you can create your own button - and this tells you have to make your own confusing computer text and gives the link which gives your button the little link underneath it (so that other's can use it on their pages). This is what I was struggling with yesterday.

So, my button is pretty much sorted...except... my small amounts of OCD now kick annoys me that it doesn't fit perfectly in line under my button! >:(
M. x

Friday, 4 May 2012

My Button!

Hey guys!
I just worked out (after a lot of research and complications) how to make a button!
Well, all I've got so far is a button that links to my page, I'm not sure how I'm meant to get that link underneath it that everyone else seems to have for their buttons,
so if you want to add it to your blog (which I sure wouldn't mind!) just put this:

<a border="0"href="http://" target="_blank"><img src="http://" /></a>

in the 'caption' bit and everything else should be as straightforward as usual!
I would say "ask me if you need help" but, I'd probably just confuse you even more even if I did know how to solve the problem...
M. x

Thursday, 3 May 2012

A-Z Reflections Post

How was the A-Z for me?
 Well, it was stressful, of course. I set myself the target of doing one post a day, but sometimes that didn’t work out as well as I had planned...
I had also said to myself that I would continue with my normal blog at the same time which became practically impossible. Lastly, I promised to my readers that each A-Z post would somehow feature something to do with my novel project and, although I managed this for most of my posts, I was definitely scraping the barrel a lot of the time.
However, I found the challenge really fun as I had to really use my brain to make the posts even mildly amusing. I also found my now favourite blog:
She is just HILARIOUS!
I don’t really know what else to say about it, other than it made me addicted to blogging! Everyone says they’ll only post once a week and so did I, until I realised I was addicted to it!
I love to let my thoughts out and now that I’ve found The Lightning and The Lightning Bug,
I have discovered the joy of making up a story as you go along! I have found a way of undoing my writer’s block!
Okay, slightly off topic, here, but this is all thanks to the A-Z Blogging. Because of my frequent searches for other A-Zing blogs, I discovered something brilliant that helps to get my mind away from the horrible, stressful world of exams!
M. x

'The Last Time' Writing Prompt

I've written this for The Lightning and The Lightning Bug:

The last time..........

The last time I went to Dawnie’s was when the rain began. It fell like it would never fall again. But that was a lie. Because it would. The ast time I went to Dawnie’s was when the world turned upside down. The last time I went to Dawnie’s was the last time I’ll ever go to Dawnie’s. It’s not Dawnie’s anymore, it’s owned by a new girl called Rachel. She’s not like Dawnie. She’s normal, not quirky. She doesn’t make me laugh, she makes me sad. She makes me sad because every time I see her, I remember what happened to Dawnie.
It was on a cold, December morning – I’m not entirely sure of the date. Dawnie and I were 17 at the time. Dawnie had a lovely boyfriend called Jack who had messy brown hair and gorgeous eyes. He and I had always been quite good friends, but not friends of that sort, if you know what I mean, so I was okay that Dawnie and he were together. In fact, they both deserved people as lovely as each other. Anyway, Jack was at his Dad’s house at the time, a good few hours away, so I decided to keep her company. 

We organised a sleepover and then I packed everything I’d need straight away; toothbrush, pyjamas, change of clothes etc. I stuffed it into a rucksack, hauled it onto my back, left a message for my parents on the kitchen table and cycled over. Mum and Dad both had full time jobs in London, an hour from where we live, so in the Christmas Holidays they weren’t home all that much.
As I reached Dawnie’s house, a small blue cottage, with perfectly cut hedges and lovely flowerbeds, I found her mother working outside on the garden.

“Hey, Kate!” I said. Her parents were like second parents to me. They both worked at home, so I saw them more than my own parents.

“Hey Steph! Dawnie’s in her room upstairs”. She said, a big smile on her face.

“Thanks” I said, mumbling, noticing it had just started to rain. I raced up the stairs to find Dawnie tidying her bedroom. A few years back, she had decorated her bedroom walls with the map of the world. She had always dreamed of travelling everywhere and living in some place other than England.
Dawnie has pitch-black hair that fell to her shoulders. Her eyes were green and had a sparkle of life in them. She had a sharp jaw line and feline features. Her hair was thick and luscious and had always made me jealous.

For the next few hours, we sat and chatted about life. Well, you know – all the things teenagers chat about. Boys, people at school, lessons, exams, driving tests and so on. It was only when her mum came upstairs to tell us that Dinner was ready that we noticed the rain outside. It fell like no tomorrow! Buckets upon buckets slapped at the pavement. I started to wonder how it would feel having that land on you.
We went down to Dinner, a very normal dinner, as the thunder started to growl. It was right above us. I’d always loved thunderstorms – they had some power to them, a sort of natural beauty, shown and heard right above you that you couldn’t escape. But, somehow, this had a different nature. The thunder growled like it was truly angry – like it was truly taking revenge, and the lightning struck like it was defending something truly precious – its baby, perhaps.

Dawnie and I sat up for hours, watching the battle from her bedroom window seat. Through the reflection in her window, I could see her eyes sparkling with delight. There was something natural in Dawnie – something that told me she’d easily spend a day in a forest rather than her bedroom. She had a sort of fire-like quality about her. Something I always wished I had. She suddenly leaped up, made a noise like the thunder and made a full-scale attack on me. I was knocked backwards onto the floor and, laughing, I wrestled her off. We decided to go to bed, as it was 11:30 now. But that night I couldn’t go to sleep, so I just lay there, listening to the ferocious noises coming from outside, wondering what the thunder was so angry about.
I held a fascination in the noises; desperate to join them in their fight; a strange, innate need to express my natural side, instead of lying in the luxurious man-made bed, with warm man-made covers and man-made pyjamas.

Dawnie slept on soundlessly. The thunderstorm had hardly affected her compared to the way it had affected me. In fact, she seemed bored with it by the time we went to bed that night. I watched her sleep peacefully, hardly daring to breathe, in case I woke her from natural sleep.

At last, the light began to shine outside, but there was something different about it this time. It seemed more like a lamp light had been switched on to illuminate the world within her room. I tiptoed across the room and opened the curtain to peer outside. Although I knew it was morning, it looked like a giant torchlight had lit up the road and houses outside. The dark alleyways inbetween houses were dark with shadows, while the main road was lit. It was still raining like the clouds were releasing everything they had ever stored. I looked to Dawnie as she blinked her eyes open. She sat up and looked at the digital clock on her bedside table before registering me standing by the window looking at her.

“Look at this” I whispered. My voice seemed to have gone and had been replaced with a strange sort of awe.

She stumbled over to the window and blinked furiously as the light hit her eyes. She studied it for a while then looked at me.

“Weird!” was all she said. Just weird. She galloped down the stairs to the kitchen with me in tow. Her mum was downstairs preparing breakfast with a disturbed look on her face.

“Have you seen it outside? It’s...very odd” she said to us both. We nodded in reply. I nodded with a confused expression on my face, while Dawnie’s looked excited.

“I want to go out in it!” She exclaimed as she rushed to the main door and pulled on her willies.

“Dawnie, please don’t! You’ll get soaked!” said Kate, laughing at her daughter's rashness.

Dawnie didn’t listen. Oh, how she should have listened! That silly, impulsive girl! Oh, who am I to kid? I loved her crazy impulses.

Once she had her raincoat on, she raced outside, trying to find the source of the light.
“Her father didn’t come home last night.” Kate said, suddenly appearing by my ear. I stared to look at her, finally understanding her look of distress. “He always comes home...” She looked close to tears.
“It’ll be fine, he probably got stuck somewhere in the driving rain.” I reassured her, looking straight into her eyes to show her I meant it. Dawnie’s Dad liked to visit his parents every Friday – it had become a sort of tradition.

Suddenly, her eyes flicked outside and she was screaming.

“DAWNIE! DAWNIE! Come back!” The rain was no longer rain. Small electric currents raced through the air and hit the ground with a hiss. It was almost as if the lightning had merged with the rain and become electric bits of hail!

In a strange way, the rain was kind of beautiful. Our brains couldn’t pick up quick enough what they actually were until they had hit the ground and burned out. They were small lumps of rock, like lava from a volcano. Blue and white streaks, racing to the ground, like tiny little comets with blue fire.

“Dawnie!” I shouted, “Come back inside! Please!” hysteria now in my voice and my body ready to run to her aid.

Dawnie’s face no longer held excitement. She was terrified. She was tucked under the small shelter of the doorstep in front of the opposite house. The mother who owned the house poked their noses through a gap in a curtain in alarm. Ready to take the run, Dawnie began to sprint across the road, a sense of determination in her face. And all of a sudden, a huge rock came flying to the ground, where she had been only seconds before. All around her they fell as she dodged and dived, her clothes now almost shredded and her skin red and raw. Every time the rock landed, the earth shook with the force. It was a meteor shower, headed for Earth.

In a split second – a small moment in which her cat-like instincts had become distracted – she was burned to the ground. The image is bright in my mind. A meteor landed just by her feet and she was caught in its fire. All that was left was ashes. She had burned in seconds. I don’t recall feeling shock, like they would in the movies. I didn’t even scream or cry. I don’t recall feeling anything. It never really registered in my brain. One second she was there, and another...she was not. Those beautiful green eyes were lost to me forever. I stood, frozen. Her mother stood beside me, also frozen. She was the first to break free.

“I can’t live without her.” She said to me, no tears in her eyes, no expression in her face and no tone in her voice. And she walked out into the rain and waited till she, too, burned to the ground. I didn’t help her because she had told me not to in her expressionless words. She had told me to let her die. But I just watched. And I could live without her. I still do. Kate, my second mother, and Dawnie, my only sister, had disappeared right before my eyes, and I had just watched. I hadn’t thought about what those images would do to me. I just watched.

And that is why I never went back. Not because they died there, and not because that moment changed the world, but because the moment replayed over and over every time I drove through that road. When my wheels went over the path, I felt like I was killing them both all over again.

The rain finished after a few hours, and I made my way back to my house, dumb-stricken, to find it unharmed, as if nothing had ever happened. Piles of ashes and small, lava rocks the size of hail stones laid scattered around me. I stumbled inside and stared at my mother, who started shouting in my face, asking what had happened. I didn’t reply. I never did. I went upstairs and closed my mind, my heart, my soul off to the world.

Hope you liked it!
M. x