Saturday, 1 December 2012


I have decided that I want to be a literary editor when I'm older.
When I was really young, I wanted to be a train driver because I wanted to pull the horn that went "toot, toot!". But Mum and Dad persuaded me that, one, you don't get those sorts of trains anymore and, two, it would be really boring to drive a train all the time because you'd only ever go to one place and then come back.
Back then I didn't understand. Wasn't that the point? I also wanted to be a train driver so that I could go to loads of places and see different places without actually having to explore them and participate in the social life there. I was never much of a social kid, I'm still not very social. But I understand what they mean, now. I'd probably just end up seeing the insides of loads of different train stations which wouldn't be very interesting.
When I was around 6 or 7, I decided I wanted to be an author. I'd never finished any bit of writing but I did write. Everything I wrote were copies of the stories I liked just with little twists. For example, I started to write The Incredible Journey, just with a snake family instead of a cat, a dog and...Okay I can't even remember what animals there are in the story...isn't there a porcupine at some point?
So the dream of becoming an author stuck for many years until my Mum said, "You know being an author isn't a proper job". She explained to me that most authors don't get as much money as J.K. Rowling and weren't as famous as her.
I never told anyone, but that hurt, quite a lot. Did she really think I was that stupid? Did she really think I only wanted to be an author for the money and fame? My reasons were quite the opposite!
I didn't want to be famous and still don't (though I do now realise that you do have to have your name known if you want your book to be famous) - all I wanted was to be able to hold the pages of my book and say, "these are my words".
I was about fourteen, then and, although I hated it, I knew my Mum was right.
I couldn't just be an author. I had to be something else as well. I had to have a proper job and be an author on the side.
So then I searched for the proper job I would have.
I wanted to be a rock musician and I made a band that fell apart very quickly due to a relationship crisis I had with the guitarist and a misunderstanding around what type of music we'd play. The others wanted me to learn how to do screamo but I didn't like screamo. I just pretended I did because the guitarist did and I wanted him to like me, I guess.
Well, let's not get into him and me because that's a whole different story.
So when the band fell apart, I went into the drama world at school and decided I wanted to be an actress or a drama teacher. That was, until I majorly fell out with my drama teacher and discovered philosophy.
I loved to act and still do but learned to deeply despise the acting world and every person and thing that comes along with it. The only good part about the acting world was the performing of the actual shows.

I had neglected my writing for quite a while and had only managed to write an 18 page story and turn an already-written play into a short story for my little brother.
I started getting into Hardy and Dickens, then and wanted to write like them.
Then my best friend told me that I only read and write boring stories so I decided to prove her wrong.

I started creating my fantasy story which now defines my life and follows me wherever I go. And then an old woman called Judy who was the grandmother of my old next door neighbour died. I didn't know her that well but she had influenced me so much. She was an incredible woman with a passion for life - and joy - and living life to the full.
Judy inspired me to write Kenso.
I then discovered Wattpad, only recently, and I have now realised what my proper job should be. I should be an editor. You know, the editor you are given when you try to publish your book. I love reading through Wattpad stories and telling myself how it could be edited. The thing is, I generally am quite brutal and I know I would feel bad for telling the authors what I truly think of their story. But then I feel bad for lying to them - but I feel less bad than I would if I told the truth...
But I think that if someone came to be for professional editing advice (because I was a professional editor), I would be as brutal as I needed to be. I think I have a skill for editing stuff.
Today, I finished Eragon which took 4 long weeks for me to read.
And, being totally honest and brutal: it was rubbish!
- The author cheated because he published the book with the publishing company that his parents owned
- He obviously didn't properly edit it because I saw loads of things in there that any sane editor would have noticed (for example, on one page he says that some girl's father is Ajihad and on the next page, he says her father is someone completely different...then it carries on saying her father is Ajihad as if he never made the mistake!!!)
- It is so obviously written by a sixteen year old which is a bad thing because it means the writing has no maturity...
I could go on for hours about how rubbish it was!

There were countless times when I was thinking...but nobody would actually do that...

Seriously. If you haven't read it, then don't waste your precious time. If you have, then I feel sorry for you that you wasted your time.
It taught me how not to write a book.

So anyway, I've now finished my NaNo novel and I've just started reading The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. Yes, these things are connected. Let me explain:

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower is written in a very specific way that I've decided I love and somehow makes things feel deep and thought through. So I have decided to re-write my NaNo novel in this style. Originally, it was in third person but I don't think it gives enough depth into the emotions in the book. So now, it is a series of letters to someone.
I hope that will make it better!
I will continue to publish the original version on Wattpad simply because I promised I would and when I've finished with the big edit, I will post it all up again. :)
Please to take a read if you're interested!
Just remember, the version here, is not at all like it's going to be later!

M. x

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